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September 20 New BlogHello dudes,
Just writing here to tell you that I've gone to a better place, where I can hide the stuff that I don't want peeps to see.
Check it out at http://victor-gan.livejournal.com/
Same old content, different playing field.
See you there. September 08 My DecisionTime is up. Blog closed. Permissions re-opened to everyone.
For anyone who cares, the following are the reasons why.
1. Lack of privacy.
As it stands I'm the most clicked link under "Victor Gan" in Google. Anybody looking to dig up some dirt on me would be able to do so ridiculously easy. I've had a couple run ins with people who I didn't want to read this, and I just can't risk anymore, nor bare my soul freely while knowing how open I am to everyone who knows me.
2. People don't read my blog.
My sole reason for maintaning this blog was for entertaining people. I'm not redundant enough to write my personal thoughts for myself to read and upload them to waste internet space. But since people don't read it, screw it. I've given up debating with myself whether people are just too busy, don't give a shit, or too busy to give a shit.
3. My thoughts are too dangerous.
To myself and my community. You figure this one out.
4. It sucks my confidence.
In my writing skills, in my worth as a person, and the merit of my actions. No thanks, I already have school to do that for me and more.
So good riddance people, no more shall you be burdened with the annoying obligation to read my boring, worthless crap. I might come back if I become a blockbuster superstar with the adoration of millions, but what are the chances of that ;)
dirtee1
ps: I'll keep my photos up for dpreview.com member viewing my profile. September 02 UltimatumI've had enough. I'm officially p'ed off.
I'm sick and tired of talking to myself. Sick and tired of spending time and effort on things that no one will ever see or benefit from.
In the last post calling for feedback, I got one reply, ONE reply, and that was from Neo who surfs every day. FOR BLOGS.
I don't give a flying f*** whether people don't bother, don't know, or are just too damned busy to care about this place. It is DONE FOR.
I'll give it 7 days. If I am not satisfied with the response I get, I am officially **CLOSING** this blog. Time to end the sadness.
dirtee1
ps: I will keep the photo part up for dpreview.com members who care. August 14 I'd Like to Hear From YouHey dudes,
So it comes to that stage - feedback. I've recently starting updating a lot more than usual, giving you extra content like audio, images and videos. What do you think? Do you like it? Are there ways to improve? I'm I too boring? And so forth. I don't maintain this place to entertain the 2 people who usually visit, so I wanna know exactly how many of you actually bother to come READ this blog.
Please please please leave a comment if you do!
Just to make sure this isn't another useless post, here's a song I recorded as a favour to Carment. Not perfect, suffering from a tired throat, bla bla. But ok.
***Update***
Another thing, from this post onwards I will not be making any direct references to myself or give blatant clues as to who I am. You may address me by my real name, but I will not do the same. The reason for this is because I'm getting too many hits from google for comfort. All you have to do is type my name in and this very blog comes up as the second link down the list. I usually make a point not to offend anyone or say anything controversial here, but one day I might change my mind. So I'll be using my online alias, dirtee1 from now on. It's really pathetic how nobody can say what they feel.
***Update***
I just got another hit from google by the "Victor Gan Framed, Forwarded" phrase that was searched. *Someone* is on to me. This is serious. On one hand it's sad thing to lose touch with google by going anonymous, but I have to do it for my own safety. These people who apparently know me don't bother leaving comments even after seeing this. I take that as a sign I don't want them to be reading this at all. You go figure out why yourselves.
dirtee1 August 13 Video Blog - Beautiful people and their videosMicrosoft oh microsoft can you please get this one right - MSN spaces is now Live Spaces? MSN messenger to Live Messenger? I'm already getting confused with how to introduce this place to my friends. What do I do when people ask me for my MSN contact? Politely correct them that it's now my "live" contact, but then again I don't know if it will be in the next evolution? Yeah sure that makes sense. The new layouts are seriously too cluttered and Those two new toolbars are *information overload*. Being too user friendly is not friendly at all. TOO MANY LINKS AND BUTTONS. Oh and lastly, please fix your video embedding support. I am very frustrated from putting in the HTML codes for videos and seeing them working fine in the preview, only to find them completely disappeared from the final publishment. Raw links are NOT nice to look at.
So dudes, video blog:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsnKB3M8CW0 Its my first time so obviously a little shaky, crappy audio and more but be warned, this won't be the last time! August 10 BittersweetnessHome, Melbourne, 13C
Every time another friend of mine says or shows that he/she doesn't need no-one, I panic and wonder if I'm on the chopping board once again. Am I really desperate and friend-starved? Is it weak to need friends? I find that without them nothing I do means anything. Heck, I'm not even bothered to *concentrate* in class when I am alone in that one. Yet some people say they do certain things better without friends, like concentrating in class. Have I committed a grave sin by not having a single aspect of my life considered fulfilled without friends? Am I putting too much burden on them? What I do know is I would gladly carry the same burden...but I feel more lonely every day because precisely no-one does that. Or at least haven't said it.
On the other hand, I feel much better now that I know I don't have anyone to lean on. It's a great feeling that maybe more true friends are waiting out there, instead of wondering why the friends I thought gave a shit don't give as much anymore...
This is the bittersweetness of my life.
Edit: I may have offended some people in my post. Please take this with a grain of salt as it is the relative view of my life from my perspective. If you think you are exempt, let me know. At the moment I have come to realize I can exlude two people from this : Tiara and Carment. Thank you. August 07 Youth Sunday Music VideoI'll assume nobody saw this, coz nobody complained that there was absolutely no video.
I really am scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Here's the URL link. For anyone who cares.
**Original post***
I shot and edited this for Youth Sunday. If you ever wanted to see how my church people are like, here's your chance. Enjoy.
Victor August 04 DegradationHome, Melbourne,
1 AM. Can't concentrate on homework. Need to get things out of my system, but they always stay...
Living life here...if you can call it a life, has been harrowing. Individuality is nice and all...but it has a strange way of
Once again my logical mind is questioning its own existence, its integrity, its normality. With nobody like minded around, one's thoughts seem to drift to doubts of sanity...sentience. I feel with no other mind to reflect my own...I'm beginning to wonder if it's even there. It is an eerie, cold mental solitude...this mind trapped in a brain trapped in a body trapped in a sea of faceless people.
That is why with everything I do I seek to do differently from others...if I cannot find myself in others, I would do so in our differences. Unfortunately this approach has ill-effects I wasn't expecting to encounter...
I hunger for intimacy. I live among humans, but my soul lives with machines. In a place where personal thoughts are dangerous and privacy precious, I have known people for years...but know...nothing of them.
Every face I see when I go out...this glassy facade of a being..they tell nothing of the person within. I do not talk or gaze upon them, I merely look at sacks of meat and bones, with mechanical brains that respond to you with programmed responses...If there is life here, I am living in a still wasteland I have exiled my mind to...
I do and do...but nobody understands what or why I do. My actions carry so little significance...
I cannot call out because I do not know the difference between a weak cry and a statement of one's condition.
A pity my darkest thoughts have to be concealed and censored from this place.
Victor Gan may fade into nothing, and the world will not know. July 21 Childhood MemoriesHome, Melbourne, 15C
I almost hate my memories in high school. Firstly, because of the school itself, secondly, because I was alone most of the time. When I'm alone, nothing I do seems to matter. 20 years from now they still won't matter. But worse, when you try to remember those times, it's hard, because no one shared them with you. You start to lose the convinction that your memories are real, because no one other than you can say that they have happened before. I'm not sure which is more harrowing, to be alone, or to be alone in memory...
But I've had many good times in my childhood, the childhood that people growing up, and my high school took away. One of them is this distinct memory, one of my earliest, of riding on the roof of my apartment building, watched over by my dad. I know this memory is true, because my dad was there, and he took a picture of me on my bike which I still keep. I remember that time of my life to be perfect bliss, and I always am thankful of my parents for that.
So here's a short film of that memory. Because of time budgeting, I could not include my dad in the picture, but try to use your imagination and pretend that he's always behind me ^_^
Victor July 19 The Plot SaddensHome, Melbourne, 12C
Barely two days after my horrible nightmare, disaster strikes again.
I am not sure I can keep up with this. I feel like Dr. Xavier versus The Phoenix, my skin slowly flaking off as I realize I am going to lose this fight.
Had a "argument" with a friend today. These things tear me up. He accused me of being a hypocrite when I called him offensive in an online game. It was all in good humour, my way of joking around and coaxing the opposition to stay instead of leaving the game, reeling from his remarks. Sounds insignificant, right? It's only a game, and we're only having fun online.
Yet he scolded me for turning back on my own words. He became inflamed, angered at the thought of me sitting high on my throne, pretending to be perfect while I insulted and picked at every flaw of those around me. Not willing to admit that I was not without weakness.
I have no idea where this started from. I try my best to be nice to people, to make them as fearless of me as I can, because I'm a weird person and I intimidate some people. I try to help. But...
Some people think I'm snobbish and haven't the slightest measure of modesty. But they cannot be more wrong. I don't like leaving anything to chance, my every choice is deliberate and calculated, and when some things I do are percieved as mistakes, I attempt to tell them how I intend my plans to work, and so forth. Some take this to be covering my pathetic sorry mistake-ridden arse, but I really beg to differ. I'm not that type of person. If I know I made a mistake, I'll fess up. End of story.
I guess some people don't see that I'm calmly trying to get them to tell me how I angered them when I incur someone's wrath. I try to keep my cool, not lose my temper, not flare up, to be humble and objective as I can. But this aggravates some further. I don't know what to do. Should I just run and hide when I realize I have trespassed against someone? Should I say I'm sorry no matter whose fault it was?
Feeling like a chopping board being hacked and chipped away by a voracious cleaving knife. I try to take as much flak as I can, but one day I'll explode. My conscience can only take so much. It's only a matter of time...
I think this is a beautiful beginning of another deppression period. My dear close friends, prepare to run away.
Victor July 17 A Dream and a WishWhere am I? What is this place?
I pointlessly wander this place, its entire existence permeated by fog and decay.
I am running from, or toward something, but what?
The corpses of cars lay strewn about this place. Yet there is life about it. What is happening?
I now know I am not aimless in my walk. I seek something...yet attempt to distance myself from it.
I have made a choice. I attempt to bargain but know such a thing is irreversible. I still know nothing of this choice, only what I feel for it.
I know one thing - Kirsten.
A mob of people come. They are dressed in fancy clothes, some displaying manic proportions of joy, others worry. They are mostly women.
They call out to me to follow them. They tug at me, hurrying me for something I am unaware of.
We arrive at a church. The mob is gone, but the building is filled with similar characters.
I hold a piece of card in my right hand. The mob must have given it to me. Its contents are shocking, but I focus on one thing: Her name is Kirsten.
I stumble down the aisle, both confused yet all too aware of what is about to transgress.
I am at the altar. I peer down and I see a suit - my suit, on my body.
An eternity passes. As always the hall is filled with troubled whispers.
The hall lapses into silence. She is here. The silence is deafening. Ever her footsteps do not seem to fill the void.
She has taken two steps, but now she is beside me. This is Kirsten, her makeup silent yet imbued with the vibrance of her expression. She is excited as I am.
We take 4 steps forward, hands gradually clasping together. We are to be eternally joined today. I do not know her much beyond her name.
Worries riddle my head. I would certainly strive to uphold this bond, but what if it isn't worth it? Have I chosen a good partner?
She must have heard my thoughts, for she is now a sobbing little girl.
Relatives quickly carry the sobbing girl away. I am alone.
*** End of dream sequence ***
Home, Melbourne, 13C
This is a nightmare among many I had today, served fresh for you right after breakfast.
For some of you who are very close to me, you know the dilemma I have now about my nonexistent love life. Is this a manifestation of my fears and desires? what could it possibly mean?
Every day I am without a female friend, I lose a little more of me. Whether I forget about it, or lose my capacity for it is another matter.
Girls have a wonderful way of making me feel like the world isn't so bleak. Their presence alone is reassuring and comforting. Just having them around makes me go the extra mile. My girl friends are responsible for so many wonderful things in my life, I can't even begin to count them.
Accuse me of being desperate, or whatever, but miss having a girlfriend. Yes boys, I'm talking about actual partners now. That feeling is buried so deep in me it takes a dream or a nightmare to bring them out. But for various reasons, having a girlfriend is near out of the question for me.
Alas, I am powerless, as far as I am concerned, to affect my situation. I've told some of you of the many monolithic obstacles impeding my way, and needless to say they are nigh immovable nor circumventable. If I am to stay single my entire life, I do not know how I am to live...
Nevertheless there are "interests" in my life, however dim the chances may be. One, I care for deeply, almost like a boyfriend would, but I have no desire for a relationship with. Another one almost fits the proverbially impossible female Victor description...although...I am still figuring that one out. Sorry, but unless you ply me with a bood bottle of brandy, I'm not gonna mention who they are XD Yes, Victor is now alchoholic. I even keep 2 cans of shandy in my room for snack time.
Sadly,
Victor July 04 Human Biological Waste Receptacles 2Home, Melbourne, 8C
Some of you might remember my rant about toilets awhile ago. I've had a couple assinine revelations since then. First of all, all the names given to the bowls that take your shit I can think of (or the rooms that house them):
1. Toilet
2. Water Closet
3. Men's/Ladies'
4. Gents
5. Washroom
6. Outhouse
7. Privy
8. Human Biological Waste Receptacle (My invention)
First of all most of these names do not outwardly make any sense whatsoever (except mine). Secondly IMHO they're not much more flattering mine than the name "shithole" (except mine). Thirdly I think calling them "men's" or "ladies" is outright insulting because it implies that all men and ladies ever do is take shits.
Eureka! I've ascended to a higher level in potty training! Stand back, for I know now the perfect doo-dropping technique for avoiding the dreaded toilet splashback. Here's the details, and remember, you got it from Victor!
1. Answer the call of nature 5 seconds earlier than you normally do.
2. Enter toilet (make sure it has plenty of tissue)
3. Pull approximately 8-10 squares of tissue off the roll. Do not separate!
4. Drop the strip you just obtained into the bowl McDonalds Cone Sundae style. The aim is to create sort of a honeycomb-ish structure in the roll in order to cushion the impact of your little bomblets. Engineering students, I hope you read your textbooks well.
5. Quickly put ass to plastic(or porcelain/solid gold if you're filthy rich) and fire away! Success is not guaranteed if you let the water soak into the crap cushion or if you're stupid, which you probably are if you let the thing soak in the first place.
Remember, if doesn't work the first time, keep trying. With practise you'll soon find yourself grabbing the tissue, contorting it into the required shape and throwing it in the bowl with ond hand while your other hand pulls down your pants/skirt. ;) Tell me of your progress!
I've had the privilege of discussing bathroom habits with an old friend, and we came to the issue of shower versus water ladle baths. She taught me an invaluable fact. You see, when guys shower, they got their equipment in full view. They can play with it in the shower, and washing it's no problem. If you're a guy and you don't, tell your doctor to expect penile cancer.
So, see, the way a guy's equiptment is finely crafted, makes many things in life easier. For example they can stand up while peeing, girls are always so jealous of that. It also helps when the doctor asks for your wee-wee, coz you can just shoot into the cup, no problem. You can even do it in front of the doctor if you're not that shy. And you can wash it no matter where you clean up - in the shower, bathtub, in the rain, and so forth. Heck, they can even let in soak in the ladle. Not girls tho. Girls are stuck with a hermit. That tiny access hole down there doesn't help either, especially if they don't have active sex or childbearing lives. So when they shower, the hermit is woefully left out of the activity. This is where a water ladle comes in handy. I have no idea how my friend does it, but she says this is a much easier way to clean the wrinkly sucka compared to a shower. So if you're a girl or a female transexual and you're having problems with keeping it clean and odour-free, consider buying a ladle. Widely available in most developing Asian countries. Get yours now in these stylish colours: in blue, red, brown or green.
Oh yes I never understood why on earth it's good manners to flip the toilet seat down after you're done pissing. I mean, does taking one second to flip it down really matter? It's like cursing the cap on your water bottle every time you wanna take a drink! Here's a conversation I had with one particular girl...
`°~Äñgë£ gƒrL~°®~ says:
maybe some people wait till they really need to go and that +1 sec really counts hahahahhahahah i just imagined it and it turn out to be damn funny lol but kinda gross Victor says:
Hubby, FUCK you! I exploded all over the toilet seat coz YOU forgot to pull it down! Games are a big source of literature for me. Say for example the other day I was playing an RPG game called Fallout 2. The main character(me) said this in response to an overly pushy NPC:
"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has them and they all stink."
Ah, how true, how true. You're entitled to yours, but puh-lease, use some deodourant or get an enema. *hint hint*
Happy crapping,
Victor June 20 First Voice BlogAy yo howzit goin?
You'll learn I never sound like that in real life coz here's my very first voice blog!
Enjoy!
(click to stream or right click and select "save target as" to save) May 27 BelieveHome, Melbourne, 13C
About time I wrote something introspective for a change.
Once again in my life I find my projected personality increasingly deplorable. I'm forced to endure judgements from people who don't understand the choices I make. It is so much harder to do the right thing instead of letting your conscience slip and allowing your heart take you wherever it wants.
You see, I want to make life easier on my parents by getting this goverment education loan that's available to anyone who's had good results in year 12 or does exceedingly well in school. Since the first option isn't available to me because I never got a chance to attend high school here, this is quite a challenge.
Say for example what happened tonight. There's this dumpling festival thing happening at church and although I don't appreciate the fact that the church takes every Chinese festival and turns it into a church event, I would have normally gone along with my parents anyway. But not tonight. My lecturer from Projection class practically destroyed my team's work, and we've been forced to redo the entire thing from scratch. Next Wednesday is the final deadline, not to mention another assignment due on Tuesday. So it's just DUMPLING festival, right? With half the semester's result hanging in the balance next week, I can let this one time slip by, can't I?
Apparently not. My dad thinks I have the time to attend church 3 times a week and not suffer in my studies. I'd already attended a committee meeting the night before and am going to church tomorrow morning. I need at least half a day to even produce a passable project for wednesday, and another half for the one due on Tuesday, not including the big-ass mutha project due for my major class. But you know what? I couldn't bring myself to tell him those reasons. I felt he should've been understanding enough to take "too much work" as a valid reason not to attend one small church event. He became upset at me and later blamed me for my brother not wanting to go as well. And it's not the first time this is happening. All because I want to make my parents happy.
I think it all started when I went through a really deppresing period when I was 16. I felt like no one reallly cared about me - my mom only critisized me for every microscopic mistake I made, I was doing poorly at school and my classmates and teachers despised me. The last straw was when I was having a particularly bad night and could not refrain from showing it. My dad, after enduring it for hours, told me that all I wanted was pity, and I took it like the hardest blow in my entire life. I dion't know if he said it out of frustration or from reason, but my reltaionship with him was never the same again. I stopped showing him any emotion, and even though it hurts, it hurts worse to show your feelings to someone you think cares only to have it ripped apart.
I became delirius with pain and self-hate. Around the same time I lost contact with Natasha, the only other person I told my feelings to, and I truly felt forsaken. I was beginning to have suicidal thoughts, even though my ratioinal mind told me I would never do such a thing.
Then Stephanie, a girl I'd met years earlier, checked up on me through an sms. When she found out I was having a bad time, she told me not to "do anything stupid" and that she loved me, which were exactly the words I needed to hear. I started to turn around and eventually came out of it months later. All I needed was a sign that someone had faith in me no matter how crappy a person I was, that I was worth something to them.
Don't underestimate the effect you can have on someone's life by showing a little faith.Stop judging and start believing.
May 12 Training Credit CardHome, Melbourne, 12C
I had a good feeling walking out of the house yesterday.
I couldn't put my finger on what, but moments later the mailbox beckoned, and sure enough, I had a letter addressed to me. It was labelless, unmarked and completely nondescript, but I knew exactly what it was...my first bank card!
A quick bending of the letter confirmed its existance.
So I then went to school, and found out that my appointment had been cancelled. Having nothing to do, I decided it was a good idea to stuff myself with the second Nando's meal I had in a week. At the restaurant, I ordered my usual "Grilled Chicken Wrap" (I haven't ordered anything else at Nando's to date) and found a quiet corner to sulk in. Then I remember the letter...
Upon opening it, I discovered to my dismay that I would have to endure yet another process to activate the card. I called the bank hotline number to confirm my reciept of the card, and he just ran the usual procedures of identity verification. I wasn't however, prepared for one question:
"Do you have the password?"
"Uh...which one?(Excuse me?!)"
"Well you kn-"
Just then the waiter came with my meal, and I was forced to move out of the way and say thank you before returning to the phone."
"-n."
Oh shit.
Quick, Victor, think! If you take too long he'll think you're trying to hack into someone else's bank account!
"Um, okay, it's *pin number*"
"Uh....not THAT password."
Holy shit.
I just told a complete stranger my bank account pin number. Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid VICTOR!! ARGHHHH!
Nevertheless...it went smoothly and the card got approved. If I notice funds slowly going missing from my account...a certain Thomas from ANZ bank will pay dearly with his job...hehehehe...
Alas, the card's first task was to perform a necessary evil. With one swipe at the computer shop I emptied my bank account of its entire $140 so I could buy a 200GB external harddrive (I was running out of space.)
Here's some photos of it: April 09 Some Of Us Are Unnatural!They are lurking in your local video arcade, they're there at your school, prancing about carellessly in the faith that the world is blissfully unnaware of their existence. Beyond the countless and indistinguishable Ah Gua's, Ah Pek's and Hip Hop soul brotha and sista wannabes, there exists an even more vile form of shameless imitation.
You guessed right.
Clones live among us.
But fear not, for little do they know that a select few in the general populace possess the innate supernatural ability to percieve these abominations. Fortunately for YOU, I am one of them, one of a rare breed, epitomes of human sensory perception, a beacon shining in the cold, muddy dark.
Why have I kept the secret for so long, you may ask? Certainly it was not my intention to shroud my special power in mystery, but I never thought it an ability exclusive to me. After all, there are many who oppose and vilify the machinations of Hollywood, where many "celebrities" have ironically used the anonymity of stardom to hide in secrecy, where they can best use their filthy manipulative ways to pull the world towards self-love and away from benevolence as preached by purebred humans of old. Only recently have I realised how special I was, when I started noticing things people never spot, and I tell you now that I have sensed evil is their only goal, and they shall stop at nothing to bring to ruin the humanity that rejected and cast them out so judgementally.
But not all hope is lost. There are many of you who haven't fallen under their spell, and if we work together we can scourge the land of these foul creatures.
I intend to do this by informing you frequently of clones I've spotted right here in this blog. Today's selection is my friend Joshua Hor and his clone Jack Black. Take a look at them closely. Jack was cloned from Joshua to extract his boyish mischievousness nature and star quality. His creators thought they could make him appear ambiguous enough by slapping on more facial hair, but merely that alone isn't enough to decieve my sharp fine-tuned senses - Joshua Hor IS Jack Black, there's just no denying it. Why does he appear to be many years older than my friend? Accelerated growth in an incubation chamber, how else? How many of us have heard of Jack Black before he made School of Rock? That's right, his past is FABRICATED. You may not know it, but this is the way many "celebrities" make it into Hollywood.
Joshua's dreams of starring in blockbuster movies are now shattered because of clones like Jack Black who remorselessly rob countless decent people of their place in the world. Help put an end to this immoral affront to free will and human rights. Spread the word around as I update you on the clones of the world.
Peace, Victor April 06 This is a second sount testHome, Melbourne, 17C
Hello! Nothing much to say except welcome Mira and Lia to my blog!
I've been thinking about having a voice blog in conjuction with my written one. I'll basically only be saying what I write in here, and attaching an mp3 file of me saying it, just to reduce the monotony a little!
This won't just be limited to speaking. I might even add some little singing clips if the response is good enough.
Here's one clip I've just recorded.
What you have to do is right click and select "save target as". The built in IE player seems to screw the audio up. This song is You and I Both by Jason Mraz and was recorded with my Rode VideoMic, available now at audio stores for AU$150, or RM450. Great location sound mic (attachable on video camera hotshoes) that can double as a voiceover mic.
For those still interested in getting my short movie made for a class assignment, you can get it at
Enjoy!
Victor April 03 I am grumpyHome, Melbourne, 15C
Autumn is upon us here in Melbourne, and in full force! Typical of Melbourne weather, it changed from uncomfortably warm to chilling sub-20's virtually overnight. I wish this city would stop doing that, but I guess it can't help it, being wedged between a frickin desert and nothing but the Antarctic below. It still drives me nuts tho.
Tiara is going to Denver next week! Good luck to her on her travels. Maybe she could really get her dream job working for UWP.
I might just start that food blog. Does anyone care about this space? Does it make their lives less dull? That's right, I'm having another "what's all this for?" periods that cover alot more life arenas than you think. If I feel its useless, I CAN'T FRICKIN DO IT. So for the last time, if you do check this blog once in a while SPEAK UP or I will feel like Im going crazy thinking aloud online to no one. Let me make it simple for you. DO YOU WANT THE FOOD BLOG OR NOT?
Tiara, I know you check this sometimes, how do I get more exposure on this page? Go back to livejournal? But I can't post pictures there, can I?
I'm having some kind of infection/inflammation at the back of my mouth, somewhere around the uvula, but I can't put my finger on where...literally. It's really messing up my appetite coz it makes it painful to swallow, almost feels like I'm trying to swallow a thorned vine. It's also made my mouth really sensitive to spicy food which I love and I couldn't even have my extra hot peri-peri chicken wrap at Nando's and enjoy it coz it just multiplied the hotness of the basting. Usually I'd be able to mop extra hot peri peri sauce off my plate too but it was just too unbearable. I hope I don't need any drastic surgery to remove my tounge or something for this. I love my food T_T
I realise I'm so different from everyone else here. It really makes living here a lonely prospect, you sort of become so isolated even when you're surrounded by friends coz no one shares your mind, so they only and can only see you at face value, never discover your deeper self. Then you start to doubt your own sanity coz no one understands you, you wonder if you're really just crazy, your brain is messed up and no-one can get through to you and tell you that you're really sitting on your bunk in a mental ward typing out your blog on a keyboard made of air...
Maybe people here are just afraid of asking people what they think...it sort of seems like nobody's interest in my opinion. Like I'm just a shallow-minded guy who doesn't know much beyond how to continue living my life, but I really have a lot to offer. Maybe people just don't need a guy like me around here...
Gosh this place is sure deppressing and demoralising. I need to get back to KL or at least out of this soon before I pop.
Victor March 26 It's home!Home, Melbourne, 20C
My baby is home!
There were doubts, but we've triumphed over all odds to bring my Nikon D50 home! (Except for the fact that I now owe my mom 1,200 dollars.) Have a look at my new photo album dedicated to the delivery of my baby, courtesy of shanghai photographer Ni Yu Bin aka Neo!
Food blogs and tourism shots, exciting perhaps but limited. Anyone have any ideas how I can make use of my Nikon D50? Post a comment!
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